Synopsis: Gavin Duvert (Main Character in 1st person) Saw the murder of his parents...watching this gave him a sense of what the world really was...after a life of happiness seeing this felt like being stabbed through the heart...his life ends up getting worse and worse until finally decides that there is nothing left to live for.

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Need more friends with wings
All the angels I know
Put concrete in my veins

It was about 3:30 pm and school was almost up, I spent most of my time staring at the clock on the wall thinking to myself "When will this be over..I left my game on and I think mom might have turned it off...oh I hope not I almost unlocked Marion...jeez why won't you go faster clock...go faster...go faster...COME ON!" Finally the bell rang...finally. I got up, grabbed my bag from the back of the class and rushed out of the school.

As I was walking home I kept thinking to myself what the world outside of this small town was like. I mean I loved living in Barton Town but what is the outside land like. I have only seen a few times and those were on rides through the country or going fishing with dad. Either way I know that sooner or later I would be able to go out to see the world on my own. And when I do I will find new areas in the world that not even the most experianced travellers know of. Places that aren't even on the map, and when i find them I will name them after me.

I got home..

I'd always walk home alone
So I became lifeless
Just like my telephone

LEAVE ME ALONE! mommy...
YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER! Daddy...

I fell to my knees...I could hear the screming from inside the room. I heard the sound of cold steel hitting thier bodies...I could hear it all and there was nothing I could do to stop it. All I could do is sit there and stare up at the door...praying that they would be okay.

I could hear footsteps; getting closer to me. I rushed away from the front door to the side of the house. I looked around the corner and saw two men wearing black jackets walk out of the house with thier knives in hand, whiping the blood off with thier shirts. One of them reached into thier pockets and pulled out...my mother's necklace. It had always brought our family suchgood luck, how could they have done this to them...how could they kill them in cold blood?

As soon as they left I rushed to the door...I stopped and instantly fell to my knees, looking at them. They were both dead...they had both been stabbed to death and there was nothing I could do. I stood up and rushed as far away from the house as I could, to my best friend's house. I came to the door and slammed my fist as hard as I could on the door, with tears

streaming down my face. Taylor answered the door and I rushed in, tripping on the bottom section of the door and landing on my face...I lay there crying. Taylor helped me up soon after.

Gavin...what's wrong? what happened? He could instantly tell that something serious had happened. But I could not say exactly what I wanted to him. All I could get out were muffled out words.

Mom...Dad...Knife...stabbed...oh god! I fell into the arms of Taylor continuously crying, he helped me up the stairs and into the guest room where he layed me on the bed.

Gavin...man you are burning up. Just rest here for a bit and when you feel well enough to talk then feel free to come downstairs and talk. I have no problem with listening. He was right...I wasn't feeling very well at all. I had gotten light headed from the continuous crying and havebeen very tired. I fell asleep on the guest bed and after about 3 hours of sleep I had woken up, still very shaken from what I had seen. I walked down the stairs and into the living room where I saw Taylor sitting on a chair. I walked up to the sofa and took a seat.

They're dead...all of them. Mom...dad...they are all dead and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I looked over at Taylor and the look on his face was one that I had never seen before in him. He was shocked...he looked at me with a look of complete sympathy.

Who did this?
I don't know.
Well what did they look like?
I don't know.
Well do you know what they wanted?

I DON'T KNOW. Listen Taylor I don't know what happened and I don't know why those men wanted my family dead. All I know is that I had to sit there as I heard my family scream in pain and that is something I will never forget, something that I can't put up with and something that has brought up so many questions in my head that I don't know what to do. I really don't! and I wish...

There's nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
There's nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There's nothing to gain
And I can't fight the pain.

I wish I didn't have to live this life. I wish that everything would just go back to the way it was...and I wish. I wish that I could just die so that there would be the slightest chance of coming back having the life that I had before. But I know that I can't do that. I know that killing myself would only create more harm then good. But still...still sometimes it seems like the only good thing to do. I looked up and saw Taylor...he had a shocked...yet blank look on his face as if to say "I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can help and I know that what I say can only hurt the situation." I stood up and turned around, walking closer to the door. I turned and looked at Taylor...still frozen on the chair. I am going to go now. If what I am going to do hurts you and the others that I care for. Then I am sorry, but it is something that I need to do. Believe me, this is going to be much more painful for me than anyone else.

There's nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
There's nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There's nothing to gain

I left the house..I ran and ran as far as I could until I reached my destination. Mount Karis, the largest hill in all of Barton, and it looks over the entire town. As I made my way up it, further and further I just kept thinking about how I could have stopped, if I had just stayed home that day I could have done my best to stop them, I could have tried to save my family.

I got to the top of the hill and looked down...looked down on everyone below me, living thier lives without a care in the world of what is out there. I wish I could remember that, I lived a life of happiness but now I don't know what that word even means. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a knife I had taken from Taylor's house. I looked at it and saw the face of my mother and father. I knew this is what i had to do, I knew that I had to be with them. And I knew that this was the end to my life's story.

And I just died today

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